Trying

Well as some may know and others may not know, I never made it to May 10th :) Berick Vern Petersen was born April 20th at 8:40 pm weighing 7lbs 10 oz and 18.5 inches long. This little man has totally changed out lives. My labor and delivery story isn't a long one but here it goes.

On Monday the 18th I went in to the doctor's office for a regular check up. They checked me and I was only at a 1.4 and 60 % effaced but everything looked great! I was due to come in the next week for another check. That night I had some slight contractions but nothing too worrisome until the next morning. I woke up to some bleeding and went in to the hospital to get hooked up to the monitors and checked. I was still only at a 1.5 after a few hours but let's just say I think them "checking" my dialation may have jump started things because that night and into the morning I was having some rough contractions that I just couldn't sleep through. Kenyon stayed home with me that day and that afternoon we decided if I'm going to have contractions like this then we better get things moving so we went for a walk around aggie village and that did the trick!

After our walk we went to the hospital and after I was admitted they checked me yet again and I was at a 3.5 which was music to my ears! After an hour I went to a 4.5 so we got to stay! We informed the masses that we'd be having the baby that night and began to get things together! I had no intentions of going natural with this one (this detail will come in to play later) so I got set up with my epidural! Funny thing is while they were giving it to me something went crazy in my spine and I ended up basically kicking Kenyon in the junk! Luckily it was merely a graze and he made it through!

Another hour goes by and I'm at a 6 and then 2 hours later I'm at a 10! The 2 things that were bothering me were uncontrolable shaking and the fact that my epidural was wearing off! I could feel all the contractions right in my pelvis and let's just say, baby was ready to come out!

I pushed for 40 minutes and he was here! I ended up sort of having a natural birth. It was worth it though because as soon as I saw the little man I burst into tears. I looked up at Kenyon and he had tears in his eyes as well. I felt so blessed to have such an incredible family!

Here's Berick! I have no idea where those cheeks came from but I love kissing them!Here is my AMAZING husband who I also can't believe I've been so blessed to have him in my life. I've never felt so close to someone in my life. He has been so insanely helpful and I love him more than ever. During the delivery he was great support! He kept saying "Yeah keep going babe, I can see the head" and I could just see the excitement in his eyes as I was pushing. Later he told me that watching me push made his love for me intensify because he saw how much pain I was in and how hard I was working to get the baby here. After delivery I was in a lot of pain (as I'm sure all women are after having a baby!) and Kenyon was there by my side through everything. He helped me while I was crying for nothing or when I was hobbling around the room. He made sure I had everything I needed and even changed all the diapers! It came time the next day for me to shower and you better believe he was in there helping me. He cleaned me up and didn't once complain that it was gross or anything. He literally has helped me so much and I hope he knows how much I truly love him.

Here we are ready to go home. It was hard leaving the hospital because the nurses there are so wonderful! I wish here at home I could just push a button and have one of them come in. Now that we are home I feel so grateful to have love and support from my family and friends. I've had some struggles and I'm still trying to work through them. I'm attempting to breast feed but I just don't have enough milk! He's still hungry after I feed him so I've had to supplement with formula. It was a hard decision but we made it and I'm happy with it.

No one prepares you for how hard being a parent is in the beginning. With these crazy hormones I've cried everyday since we've come home. I'm lucky I have a husband like Kenyon because he just holds me and works through things with me. I want to be a good mom to this baby because he's only a week old but I'd give up anything and everything for him. I think of the man he's going to be one day and I just cry because whatever happens in his life I'm going to love him.

To wrap up this post I must mention how much Heavenly Father has influenced my life. I pray to him everyday now that I'm making the right decisions for Berick. I feel his love for me even more now that he's sent this little one for Kenyon and I to care for and teach the gospel to. Yesterday as Berick was having one of his awake periods he was just staring at me so I sang to him so hymns and began crying. It amazes me that Heavenly Father trusts us with these tiny creatures. I know I have a rough road ahead of me but there will be plenty of wonderful moments in store. Thanks for reading and for all your support :)