Ok so for the past few days I've been in somewhat of a funk. I think it's a combination of homesickness, exhaustion, various other little things.
1. Homesickness: I never thought I'd be missing Utah be I really am! I feel like I'm missing out on everything! Don't get me wrong I'm incredibly grateful for this opportunity Kenyon and I have been given but I'm missing the little things! I'm missing seeing our nieces and nephews grow and play, I'm missing my friends babies being born (SARAH CARR), I'm missing being with family and friends! It sounds like I'm complaining but I really am blessed to be here and making money!
2. Exhaustion: I have never worked so much! I'm getting 40 hours a week plus! It's great because we'll be making lots of money which is the reason we came all the way up here but I'm sooooo tired at the end of the day! All I want to do is sleep when I get home!
3. Various Other Little Things: This is one of the biggest reasons I think I'm in the funk that I'm in. Kenyon and I have chatted and we've decided to wait before we keep trying to get pregnant (for those who don't know I was pregnant but miscarried in March) and this has been a bit hard on me. It seems that everyone around me either is pregnant or has just had their baby. This is awesome and I feel really happy and excited for the previously mentioned people but every time I hear about it I get teary eyed. I keep thinking from time to time about the baby I would have had and how far along I would be or what it would look like. I hope that doesn't sound crazy. Everyone keeps telling me that it's just not my time or it'll come but for some reason it just doesn't help me. I've been praying about it but I just can't shake this feeling. I just think I need to find something to keep my mind off of it.
I hope this post didn't sound complainy or whiney but it's nice to have an outlet to get things off of my chest.
On a different note I think I'm getting the hang of this blog stuff! I'm really liking it so far!
Thanks for listening!
This is Why
5 years ago
Working 40 + hours a week is rough! Hang in there! It will be worth the money right?!
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about what you said about your baby, & I can't help but want to remind you that you will have that baby, & be able to raise it after the 2nd coming. Don't get discouraged. What was once yours, will be yours again! Don't feel pressure either from those around you to have a baby. It's what your family decides is best for you. God will bless you for your patience if you are waiting for the better good. If you didn't already know, Valerie Illguth has been waiting & trying for 3 years! She is now pregnant, with TWINS! Blessings come in due time.
I hope that wasn't out of my place to say. I hope it helps. Think of all the things you can be doing to keep yourself busy, learning, and serving. You can do so much! You're young, healthy & have a lot to look forward to in the future.
Anyway. Have fun! The summer will fly by before you know it! I'm sure it already is with how many hours you work! BTW. Kyle & I will be in Logan for at least the next 7 years, so we will for sure see you when you get back! :)
Hugs Jeannette! Funks are no fun. Hope you find your way out of it. :) You guys sound so busy! Busy is good. The emotional toll of dealing with a miscarriage is different for everyone, but I'll say it was not one of my most favorite experiences. Hang in there! Love you!
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