National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

I got the inspiration for this post from a friend with super cute twins :)...Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. As pretty much all of my blog followers and friends know, I myself had a miscarriage last year in March. It was probably one of the hardest, if not the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I won't go into detail but the gist of it was I was 8 weeks pregnant but the baby stopped developing at six weeks. We saw the baby on the ultrasound which was not a good idea because although we saw it, there was no heartbeat which coincidentally left me heart broken. In retrospect it brought Kenyon and I closer together and we learned how to get through tough times.

After that ordeal a few months later I got pregnant with Berick and its completely changed my life. The entire time I was terrified I would lost him but month after month he kept growing. When I first laid eyes on him and they placed him on my chest I started bawling because God had given us such a miracle. Now when I'm having a tough time with him or a sleepless night I just try to keep in mind how blessed we are to have him when other mothers out there are struggling or have gone through losses. A woman I know gave birth to her baby 2 months early that sweet spirit passed away a day later. I can't imagine what the family is going through but I know if they turn to the Lord he will see them through it.

I get so excited when I hear about my friends who are pregnant and pray that everything goes well. Heavenly Father entrusts us with these little miracles and its our job to raise them and love them. I thank God everyday for my little Bean and I love him so much. I know that Heavenly Father loves me because I can feel it when I think of how much love I have for Berick. Its so amazing the how instant the love is and how intense.

Berick, I love you with all my heart and am so grateful to Heavenly Father for him sending you to Kenyon and I. You light up my day every morning even if its early. Your little smile could turn my darkest days bright. You give everyday new meaning. Your laugh makes me cry because its just so precious and to see you with your dad puts everything into perspective. I pray that I will raise you right and with gospel standards. I one day hope to see you serve the Lord on a mission and then marry a sweet woman of your choosing in the Temple. Know that I will always love you and do literally anything to see you happy. You're my sweet, handsome guy and I love you with all of my heart and soul.


                                                                                                                 Love Always,
                                                                                                                             Mom